I just got done reading my family's blog... in Cayman... and I just had to laugh. While they are enjoying the sunny weather, we are experiencing "spring" in Utah.
Phebes is a little dumbstruck, too. She doesn't know what to make of this sudden snowfall.
I show up for our bright-and-early 8:30am church, and the parking lot is empty! So, I decide to head down the street to our Stake Center. An unfamilliar man with earmuffs and a long trenchcoat is motioning me forward to one of the closest parking spots.
I roll down the window and ask "Is this where Hunter's Creek ward is meeting?" He laughs and tells me that yes, Elder Oaks is speaking to us in a special conference at 10am. "You can go in and get a good seat if you want."
Since Kyle is fast asleep at home after his graveyard shift, I decide that there isn't anything better I could be doing at 9am on a Sunday morning, so I decide to go and get a seat. It must have been my lucky day! Elder Oaks came up to me and shook my hand. It was so cool to shake hands with such a happy man that is so full of the spirit. His words really comforted me. I felt like so much of what he said was directed at me. Ever feel like that?
I'm hoping that some good luck was transferred through the handshake! Too bad Kyle couldn't come :( I hate those graveyards, perhaps more than he does!
For some reason, today is a happy day! The snow is falling, the parking lot outside is complete slush, but I can't wait to step out into the blizzard and go home to some chili and hot chocoloate (maybe not together, though).
February is a fun month... Valentines day, Kyle's B-day (along with his mom and grandma's), the annual Cutter Races in Jackson Hole... Maybe I just have some things to look forward to.
But I don't think that those are my reasons for feeling so good. I just think that I have learned how to be happy again. I am really happy with Kyle and the life we have experienced together. I am grateful for every experience that we have been able to survive together. I am so excited to see what this year will give to us! And if any of it is bad, well, bring it on! We are pretty tough!
I finally feel like a normal person, and honestly, I don't feel sad anymore. I feel like the future is looking up. Right now, I feel at peace with my situation, my life, and all that we have been through. And I know that this is the life I am supposed to have.
I want to give a shout out to some of my 'people'...
EDDIE just got a job with DISNEY ANIMATION! How cool is that? They are moving to Burbank in the next few weeks!
MOM, DAD, HOLLY, & SUMMY are all livin it up in Grand Cayman! They seem to love their new, diverse, tropical paradise. I can't wait to visit in June. I have had some good laughs reading their blog. It seems like it has been the usual Grampp National Lampoon's vacation... but we should call it "National Lampoon's Relocation"...
CARLI is in California, studying musical theater. WHEN WILL YOU COME SEE ME???
ALLIE & BOBBY, the only remaining family... we are glad that we weren't COMPLETELY abandoned in boring old Utah... yet...
I haven't posted in a while, and I decided that I know the reason why! Well, nothing is really going on in our lives! Our house is done, we are all moved in... cancer is gone :) ... and so now, what exciting news do I have to tell?
One good thing... Dr. Soisson, my oncologist, is the BEST Doctor ever. I wish he was an OB, but unfortunately he only deals with gyno cancers! Anyway, he told us that instead of having to wait 6 months to a year, we only need to wait 3 months. We were pretty excited about that! Now that I don't get chemo every week, I needed something CLOSE to look forward to. April seems just around the corner. I just really need to stay POSITIVE! No bad thoughts :)
I'm trying to keep myself busy with teaching, but I swear there are preggo's everywhere!!! I'm happy for all of them and their cute little bumps... but it is definitely a bittersweet reminder of what we have gone through.
At the same time, I don't know that I would change the things we have been through. I have seen that tragedy can bring out the best in a person. It surprises me that I can be happy, that Kyle can still make me laugh in the middle of a cry-fest, that I can have a really good day. At first, I questioned why God would give me a trial like this. I felt angry because I didn't think that I could get through it. In the end I was right. I couldn't handle this on my own, I had to become very humble and let God do the rest. I know that he did, and that is why the comfort and happiness that I feel today is possible.
P.S. YOU NEED TO READ "THE LAST LECTURE" by Randy Pausch! It is so inspiring! It made my 'stuff' seem so insignificant, which is probably how it should be!
8
8 TV shows I love to watch:
The Office
Grey's Anatomy
The Hills
Law & Order SVU
Design on a Dime
Friends
John & Kate Plus 8
Ugly Betty
8 Favorite Restaurants:
Royal India (Chicken Tikka Masala)
Olive Garden
Cafe Molise (Where we ate on our engagement night)
Ruth's Chris Steak House (Only been there once)
Costa Vida (Mango Chicken Salad)
Pace's (AMAZING onion rings!)
Chili's
Robintino's
8 Things That Happened Yesterday:
Picked up Jess from the airport
Filled up my tank for $25! Holy Crap!
Made gucamole and frosting while my mom made pumpkin cake and cookies
Hosted Shay Crump's bridal shower
Watched BYU play their worst game EVER
Read about Obama's family in people magazine
Brought Kyle some food at work (at 11 pm... I hate sleeping alone when he works night shifts!)
Got into sweats and cuddled with Phebes
8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:
Getting my last chemo treatment
Moving in to our new house
Seeing my Dad and nephew at Christmas
Getting the green light for baby making!!!
Visiting my fam in June in the Cayman Islands
Finishing my master's project and graduating
Finishing my first year of teaching, so I can start over again and do it RIGHT next year!
Seeing Twilight on Monday
8 Things On My Wish List:
Visit Europe
Have the next pregnancy be normal, healthy, and successful
For Kyle to always be happy
Be able to influence my students' lives (unrelated to English)
A couch, fridge, table & chairs, t.v..... I don't even want to think about buying all of that stuff!!!
Another pair of Ugg boots... to go with everything that my black Uggs don't! (Kyle hates my Uggs. But he is the one who bought them for me!)
To be a REALLY good English teacher... right now, i'm just trying to survive!
To have people describe me as "laid back"... yeah right! I am a stress case.
8 People I tag:
Pee
Jess
Nicole
Allison
Erika
Shauna
Ashley
Mary
A really sweet thought came to me... Our first baby was due within days of Baby E. I just know that he knew our little baby. I don't know why, but I feel like they were little buddies. Every time I see him, I think of our little baby that we lost and am glad that s/he had such a cute little friend to play with up there :)
Speaking of babies...
I had chemo yesterday... I am down to 347 for my hcg level. That is REALLY good (down from 1,500 the previous week and 68,000 a month ago... getting closer below 5). Once I am below 5, no more chemo and 6 months to wait until we try again! So probably June :)
