Life is Good...

even when you don't get what you want. If I spent more time saying that, and less time complaining about every little thing that goes wrong, I would be a much better person!

One thing I have realized, you will NEVER have everything that you want in life. Once you get it, there will always be something else that you "need" to make yourself happy.

The little things in life truly make me feel good.

Like today, Kyle and I took a run, and I love how hard it is to push yourself to keep running, but how good it feels once you are done. I came in and collapsed on the couch until my heart slowed down, I swear I could feel the stress leave my body.

Then, Kyle went to work, and I turned on Taylor Swift's "Fearless" and belted my little heart out in the shower (I am sure the neighbors could hear me, but since we don't really know them, I didn't hold back!). I seriously felt like I was in high school again, in my parent's basement. Allison always used to play her music so loud when she was getting ready with me. I don't think I have listened to music like that since we lived together. Good times!

Yes, I have been rambling, but this is really like my online journal. And I want to remember how I feel today; a simple, relaxed, happy feeling!

Just for me...

I knew that this past Mothers Day would be really difficult for me, but I felt I had prepared myself for it. Kyle had to work, and so I was at church alone, which is hard enough on a regular Sunday. The topic was a pretty sensitive one for me that day, but over this last year I have learned how to put on a smile and get through it.

Sacrament came, and went, and I held it together.

After everything was over, I felt pretty relieved, but as I was pulling out my hymnbook, my Bishop stood up to the pulpit. He said that although this day was meant for the praise of Mothers, he felt like he should acknowledge those women in our church who had not been able to bear children yet. I could feel the tears coming, and I tried blinking them back, but all of the emotions I had been holding back came spilling out. He read the following quote from a talk by Sheri Dew:

"Nevertheless, the subject of motherhood is a very tender one, for it evokes some of our greatest joys and heartaches. This has been so from the beginning.... Some mothers experience pain because of the children they have borne; others feel pain because they do not bear children here. About this Elder John A. Widtsoe was explicit: 'Women who through no fault of their own cannot exercise the gift of motherhood directly, may do so vicariously.'

For reasons known to the Lord, some women are required to wait to have children. This delay is not easy for any righteous woman. But the Lord’s timetable for each of us does not negate our nature. Some of us, then, must simply find other ways to mother. And all around us are those who need to be loved and led."

I know that God is aware of the pain Kyle and I have been through this last year. I am so grateful for what was said that day. I often have felt like there isn't anybody who understands what we are going through, which is probably very true if I only consider the people around me, but untrue if I consider my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I need to be patient, and I know that somewhere on God's timetable, there is a place for Kyle and I to become parents. That day made me feel like there was something that needed to be said, just for me.

H-E-L-P!

We got a new calling as Youth Conference Coordinators, and we have not had any luck in booking somewhere to stay. We don't really have any ideas of where we want to go. They want to go in August, and there are only 5-10 youth total that would be going, plus a few leaders.

If you have any good ideas, or know of somewhere we could go, let us know! We don't have any connections, so if you do, we would appreciate any help!

Good things come to those who wait!

I have been checking fares for the last 5 months to go and visit my parents in Grand Cayman in June. They are usually around $580 per person, not including taxes!

I had been kicking myself becase back in November they were at $318, but we were closing on our house and didn't have any extra money, so I let them slide by.

Last night when I checked, they were only $307 per person! I ran in to our bedroom where Kyle was sleeping (he had to be up at 4:45 this morning for work) and in a frenzy screamed "Kyle-- 307-- i'm booking!" and grabbed his debit card out of his wallet.



I guess patience can pay off, but gosh it sucks to wait! Can't wait to see you mom and dad.

Are you kidding me?

I just got done reading my family's blog... in Cayman... and I just had to laugh. While they are enjoying the sunny weather, we are experiencing "spring" in Utah.
Phebes is a little dumbstruck, too. She doesn't know what to make of this sudden snowfall.

And I am stuck at home, all by myself while Kyle is working. With a nasty cold and no one to take care of me :( Is there no justice? Can we please get some spring weather again?

We Thank Thee for... Elder Oaks

I show up for our bright-and-early 8:30am church, and the parking lot is empty! So, I decide to head down the street to our Stake Center. An unfamilliar man with earmuffs and a long trenchcoat is motioning me forward to one of the closest parking spots.

I roll down the window and ask "Is this where Hunter's Creek ward is meeting?" He laughs and tells me that yes, Elder Oaks is speaking to us in a special conference at 10am. "You can go in and get a good seat if you want."

Since Kyle is fast asleep at home after his graveyard shift, I decide that there isn't anything better I could be doing at 9am on a Sunday morning, so I decide to go and get a seat. It must have been my lucky day! Elder Oaks came up to me and shook my hand. It was so cool to shake hands with such a happy man that is so full of the spirit. His words really comforted me. I felt like so much of what he said was directed at me. Ever feel like that?

I'm hoping that some good luck was transferred through the handshake! Too bad Kyle couldn't come :( I hate those graveyards, perhaps more than he does!

H-A-P-P-Y!

For some reason, today is a happy day! The snow is falling, the parking lot outside is complete slush, but I can't wait to step out into the blizzard and go home to some chili and hot chocoloate (maybe not together, though).

February is a fun month... Valentines day, Kyle's B-day (along with his mom and grandma's), the annual Cutter Races in Jackson Hole... Maybe I just have some things to look forward to.

But I don't think that those are my reasons for feeling so good. I just think that I have learned how to be happy again. I am really happy with Kyle and the life we have experienced together. I am grateful for every experience that we have been able to survive together. I am so excited to see what this year will give to us! And if any of it is bad, well, bring it on! We are pretty tough!

I finally feel like a normal person, and honestly, I don't feel sad anymore. I feel like the future is looking up. Right now, I feel at peace with my situation, my life, and all that we have been through. And I know that this is the life I am supposed to have.

I want to give a shout out to some of my 'people'...

EDDIE just got a job with DISNEY ANIMATION! How cool is that? They are moving to Burbank in the next few weeks!

MOM, DAD, HOLLY, & SUMMY are all livin it up in Grand Cayman! They seem to love their new, diverse, tropical paradise. I can't wait to visit in June. I have had some good laughs reading their blog. It seems like it has been the usual Grampp National Lampoon's vacation... but we should call it "National Lampoon's Relocation"...

CARLI is in California, studying musical theater. WHEN WILL YOU COME SEE ME???

ALLIE & BOBBY, the only remaining family... we are glad that we weren't COMPLETELY abandoned in boring old Utah... yet...