I am still pregnant...

...but you wouldn't think I was even excited about it if you looked at my blog! I admit, I have become a lazy blogger. Facebook is just so much easier! Here are a few belly pics (or as Kyle lovingly calls them, "fat Kelli" pics):

5 months

7 months

8 months

We can't wait for baby Camden to come. He is a little wiggle worm, which is so much fun... luckily he still has plenty of room in there so I am not uncomfortable yet, and his kicks don't really hurt me. Kyle is so cute and tells Camden every day to "just come out already!" I try to explain that if this were to happen, he would probably be the size of a small guinea pig.

Wiggles...

I had been getting really antsy to feel Camden moving around in there. My pregnancy book said it happens between weeks 16-20 for most people, so for the last month I have been anticipating his movement at all times of the day, but not kowing what I was feeling for.

Finally on October 7th, the day I hit 20 weeks, I feel a weird little fluttering/twitching that was unquestionably him moving around! Of course, he waits for the last minute... just like his Daddy :). It is so much fun to feel him flipping around, and I can't wait to kiss his chubby little cheeks. But for now, I don't mind keeping him all to myself :)

Our 20 week ultrasound on Friday the 9th went really well. My favorite part was when they measured his little belly- like measuring out a little belt for him. The rest was kind of boring compared to the Fetal Foto ultrasound at 16 weeks, probably because it was more medical rather than for entertainment. But hey, I could stare at this little guy all day.

It's a BOY!

I have been MIA from blogging... I guess I have a reason!

For those of you who have not heard, we will be welcoming Baby Camden in February of 2010, and we couldn't be more ecstatic about it!

We waited quite a while to break the news. I think this is because it was so hard with the first miscarriage, so we wanted to wait and make sure that this little guy was a fighter (which he definitely is).

I feel so grateful for the long road that we had to take to get to this point in our lives. It sounds so crazy to say it, but I don't think I would have the same feelings for this baby that I do now, had I not been through so much to get him here. I remember wondering why Heavenly Father would take away a baby from me so soon with the first pregnancy we had. That was definitely a trial of my faith, trying to comprehend God's reasons for the trials I was going through. Now I feel like I see his hand even more so in my life, and the life of little Camden. I know that without a Heavenly Father watching over this little guy, he probably wouldn't be able to grow from a tiny little bean to a living, breathing baby.


Although the first 16 weeks of this pregnancy were difficult (throwing up every day all summer), I tried reminding myself that the sickness means that the hormones are working... the last couple of weeks have been really great. One of my students asked if I was pregnant... so I guess I am starting to show a little bit :)

Cayman, we miss you!

Seven Mile Beach

Hell, Grand Cayman

On the way to Hell, Summer was a little grumpy... So I told her to "Oh, Go to hell!" That made her laugh...

On our way to Stingray City, we stopped to snorkel. Yes, I can swim, but the life vest makes it easier!

One of the tour guides suddenly dove off the boat and came up with several huge starfish.

Me and Mommy Dearest at Calypso. I love her SOOO much :)

Don't really know what is up with my hair... But we sat here until I felt cold, so we moved inside :) Am I high maintenance?

Kyle gettin some love from the Stingrays in Stingray city. One totally sucked in his hand, it was the loudest noise! It could smell the squid he had just fed to another one.

All of the Stingrays stay here because they are fed. It is not a beach, but a sandbar way out in the middle of the ocean. They feel really slippery and come and glide up against you.

Giving the Stingray a smooch.

Kyle was loving it! I got out after they tipped over the bucket of squid and were going crazy. I don't want a hickey-leg like Car Car!

Friendly rays...

The balcony of the Sovereign... i'm sad that my parents are moving into their condo tomorrow. This place was so sweet!

Their condo is to the right, and the beach is the backyard! What a life, mom :)

Cruise ships port here almost every day. The beaches get really crowded.

The blowholes... I was trying to stay dry, while getting as close as possible for a pic... don't worry, of course as I get close enough for the pic, a huge wave totally claps me on the back.


Love Kyle and Holly's faces, and don't I look content?

That didn't last long.

Chillin at the Sunshine Grill!

I think this was one of two nights where I actually did my hair and wore something other than a swimsuit.

Kyle looks like a kid on Christmas morning. This is Singh's Roti shop. They make authentic Trinidadian food, where Kyle served his mission. It was really good!

Paratha and PearDrax, a good combo!


At the Turtle Farm... want to know why they have an actual farm? While they claim to introduce some to the wild, their main purpose is for Turtle Soup.

No, I am not freakin kidding! How disgusting is that? It is Cayman's famous dish. Yuck.

Heart Worming

A literal quote from a student's paper, about Marley and Me:

"This book is a very entertaing heart worming book that shows the love for an animal is a great thing in someones life."

Last time I checked, heart worm was not entertaining :)

Excuses...

My students kill me. I tell them for one month when an assignment is due, we work on it in class, but for some strange reason, they had a "catastophic" event that prevented them from getting it handed in on time. Oh well, at least it is entertaining. Here are some funny (and some not so funny) excuses I have heard today for late term papers:

"I had to go to the emergency room for stomach problems"
"I forgot"
"My mom had to use the computer last night"
"My printer ran out of ink"
"My computer crashed"
"I thought today was the 27th, not the 28th"
"If I buy you a coke, can I turn it in late?"
"I though that was for extra credit"
"Can I go to the computer lab to type it?"
"I didn't get it"
"I was too confused"
"I had to work"
"I have mono"
"I had girl problems"

and the day is only half over...

Life is Good...

even when you don't get what you want. If I spent more time saying that, and less time complaining about every little thing that goes wrong, I would be a much better person!

One thing I have realized, you will NEVER have everything that you want in life. Once you get it, there will always be something else that you "need" to make yourself happy.

The little things in life truly make me feel good.

Like today, Kyle and I took a run, and I love how hard it is to push yourself to keep running, but how good it feels once you are done. I came in and collapsed on the couch until my heart slowed down, I swear I could feel the stress leave my body.

Then, Kyle went to work, and I turned on Taylor Swift's "Fearless" and belted my little heart out in the shower (I am sure the neighbors could hear me, but since we don't really know them, I didn't hold back!). I seriously felt like I was in high school again, in my parent's basement. Allison always used to play her music so loud when she was getting ready with me. I don't think I have listened to music like that since we lived together. Good times!

Yes, I have been rambling, but this is really like my online journal. And I want to remember how I feel today; a simple, relaxed, happy feeling!

Just for me...

I knew that this past Mothers Day would be really difficult for me, but I felt I had prepared myself for it. Kyle had to work, and so I was at church alone, which is hard enough on a regular Sunday. The topic was a pretty sensitive one for me that day, but over this last year I have learned how to put on a smile and get through it.

Sacrament came, and went, and I held it together.

After everything was over, I felt pretty relieved, but as I was pulling out my hymnbook, my Bishop stood up to the pulpit. He said that although this day was meant for the praise of Mothers, he felt like he should acknowledge those women in our church who had not been able to bear children yet. I could feel the tears coming, and I tried blinking them back, but all of the emotions I had been holding back came spilling out. He read the following quote from a talk by Sheri Dew:

"Nevertheless, the subject of motherhood is a very tender one, for it evokes some of our greatest joys and heartaches. This has been so from the beginning.... Some mothers experience pain because of the children they have borne; others feel pain because they do not bear children here. About this Elder John A. Widtsoe was explicit: 'Women who through no fault of their own cannot exercise the gift of motherhood directly, may do so vicariously.'

For reasons known to the Lord, some women are required to wait to have children. This delay is not easy for any righteous woman. But the Lord’s timetable for each of us does not negate our nature. Some of us, then, must simply find other ways to mother. And all around us are those who need to be loved and led."

I know that God is aware of the pain Kyle and I have been through this last year. I am so grateful for what was said that day. I often have felt like there isn't anybody who understands what we are going through, which is probably very true if I only consider the people around me, but untrue if I consider my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I need to be patient, and I know that somewhere on God's timetable, there is a place for Kyle and I to become parents. That day made me feel like there was something that needed to be said, just for me.

H-E-L-P!

We got a new calling as Youth Conference Coordinators, and we have not had any luck in booking somewhere to stay. We don't really have any ideas of where we want to go. They want to go in August, and there are only 5-10 youth total that would be going, plus a few leaders.

If you have any good ideas, or know of somewhere we could go, let us know! We don't have any connections, so if you do, we would appreciate any help!

Good things come to those who wait!

I have been checking fares for the last 5 months to go and visit my parents in Grand Cayman in June. They are usually around $580 per person, not including taxes!

I had been kicking myself becase back in November they were at $318, but we were closing on our house and didn't have any extra money, so I let them slide by.

Last night when I checked, they were only $307 per person! I ran in to our bedroom where Kyle was sleeping (he had to be up at 4:45 this morning for work) and in a frenzy screamed "Kyle-- 307-- i'm booking!" and grabbed his debit card out of his wallet.



I guess patience can pay off, but gosh it sucks to wait! Can't wait to see you mom and dad.

Are you kidding me?

I just got done reading my family's blog... in Cayman... and I just had to laugh. While they are enjoying the sunny weather, we are experiencing "spring" in Utah.
Phebes is a little dumbstruck, too. She doesn't know what to make of this sudden snowfall.

And I am stuck at home, all by myself while Kyle is working. With a nasty cold and no one to take care of me :( Is there no justice? Can we please get some spring weather again?

We Thank Thee for... Elder Oaks

I show up for our bright-and-early 8:30am church, and the parking lot is empty! So, I decide to head down the street to our Stake Center. An unfamilliar man with earmuffs and a long trenchcoat is motioning me forward to one of the closest parking spots.

I roll down the window and ask "Is this where Hunter's Creek ward is meeting?" He laughs and tells me that yes, Elder Oaks is speaking to us in a special conference at 10am. "You can go in and get a good seat if you want."

Since Kyle is fast asleep at home after his graveyard shift, I decide that there isn't anything better I could be doing at 9am on a Sunday morning, so I decide to go and get a seat. It must have been my lucky day! Elder Oaks came up to me and shook my hand. It was so cool to shake hands with such a happy man that is so full of the spirit. His words really comforted me. I felt like so much of what he said was directed at me. Ever feel like that?

I'm hoping that some good luck was transferred through the handshake! Too bad Kyle couldn't come :( I hate those graveyards, perhaps more than he does!

H-A-P-P-Y!

For some reason, today is a happy day! The snow is falling, the parking lot outside is complete slush, but I can't wait to step out into the blizzard and go home to some chili and hot chocoloate (maybe not together, though).

February is a fun month... Valentines day, Kyle's B-day (along with his mom and grandma's), the annual Cutter Races in Jackson Hole... Maybe I just have some things to look forward to.

But I don't think that those are my reasons for feeling so good. I just think that I have learned how to be happy again. I am really happy with Kyle and the life we have experienced together. I am grateful for every experience that we have been able to survive together. I am so excited to see what this year will give to us! And if any of it is bad, well, bring it on! We are pretty tough!

I finally feel like a normal person, and honestly, I don't feel sad anymore. I feel like the future is looking up. Right now, I feel at peace with my situation, my life, and all that we have been through. And I know that this is the life I am supposed to have.

I want to give a shout out to some of my 'people'...

EDDIE just got a job with DISNEY ANIMATION! How cool is that? They are moving to Burbank in the next few weeks!

MOM, DAD, HOLLY, & SUMMY are all livin it up in Grand Cayman! They seem to love their new, diverse, tropical paradise. I can't wait to visit in June. I have had some good laughs reading their blog. It seems like it has been the usual Grampp National Lampoon's vacation... but we should call it "National Lampoon's Relocation"...

CARLI is in California, studying musical theater. WHEN WILL YOU COME SEE ME???

ALLIE & BOBBY, the only remaining family... we are glad that we weren't COMPLETELY abandoned in boring old Utah... yet...

What do you write about when life gets boring?

I haven't posted in a while, and I decided that I know the reason why! Well, nothing is really going on in our lives! Our house is done, we are all moved in... cancer is gone :) ... and so now, what exciting news do I have to tell?

One good thing... Dr. Soisson, my oncologist, is the BEST Doctor ever. I wish he was an OB, but unfortunately he only deals with gyno cancers! Anyway, he told us that instead of having to wait 6 months to a year, we only need to wait 3 months. We were pretty excited about that! Now that I don't get chemo every week, I needed something CLOSE to look forward to. April seems just around the corner. I just really need to stay POSITIVE! No bad thoughts :)

I'm trying to keep myself busy with teaching, but I swear there are preggo's everywhere!!! I'm happy for all of them and their cute little bumps... but it is definitely a bittersweet reminder of what we have gone through.

At the same time, I don't know that I would change the things we have been through. I have seen that tragedy can bring out the best in a person. It surprises me that I can be happy, that Kyle can still make me laugh in the middle of a cry-fest, that I can have a really good day. At first, I questioned why God would give me a trial like this. I felt angry because I didn't think that I could get through it. In the end I was right. I couldn't handle this on my own, I had to become very humble and let God do the rest. I know that he did, and that is why the comfort and happiness that I feel today is possible.

P.S. YOU NEED TO READ "THE LAST LECTURE" by Randy Pausch! It is so inspiring! It made my 'stuff' seem so insignificant, which is probably how it should be!